I
My Status is Living
Moonbeams trickled into the windows until flooding the room, gradually illuminating the workspace Iris had been inhabiting. Machines didn’t need sleep; however, their systems could slow down if they were overworked, so they still needed rest. Rin had been resting and recuperating in his room while Iris found it challenging to cool down that evening. She sat at her workbench attempting to map out blueprints and specs for the possible GPS system she wanted to install in Rin. She had the necessary parts for the project save for the last integral piece. Thinking about that piece always steered her thoughts in the direction of her and Rin’s future and the many places it could lead them. She reflected on the previous day; she hadn’t planned to reveal as much to Rin as she did, although there was so much more she could have revealed. She’d kept her personal, intimate experiences with the wars to herself. Thinking about where they would go, she inevitably thought about all of the reasons why she even wanted to go; if it was even a good idea. What would they find, and who?
She wondered about the risk of it all; would it be worth it? Their destination was unknown. She had no way of knowing how the world outside the wastes had evolved during the years she spent there. For all they knew it could be as desolate as what they knew now. However, she didn’t feel as though she could continue here. It was like the desert was strangling her, taking away whatever breath and life a machine could have. There were pleasant days, the ones in which she and Rin would find treasures, and when Rin would be in particularly high spirits. Sometimes she enjoyed the solitude of their existence, and the freedom that it allowed. There was no external stress, only that which accumulated inside of her mind. Despite the minute joys, she still grew more melancholy by the day. She couldn’t stomach being so alone much longer. She longed to get back to a community, some sort of society she could function in and be a contributing piece of. She thought about what she’d told Rin; that humans had made machines to be like them. She believed humans to be an inherently communal species, which logically led her to believe that they must be as well. She wanted to maintain a level of domesticity again, have friends, like she did before the machines pushed back. Sometimes she thought she only wanted the feeling of coexistence which preceded the struggles again, but she knew that reality had long dissipated.
It was emotionally exhausting for her to keep secrets for so long, which could be why she opened so easily to Rin. It was, though, probably about time for Rin to know. He’d been functioning for a few years. He was still of simple mind, but continued to grow in complexity. It dismayed her to think about, but she knew he would resist, having only known this one specific life in the desert and scraps. It’s not that he liked it, but that he didn’t dislike it. He had nothing to compare it to, no concept of what other places could even be like, nor did he even realize there were other places. He was content with the life he’d lived so far. He knew his role with Iris, and he admired her like a maternal figure. For Rin, the secret of the desert was its familiarity.
Of course she knew all of this about Rin, and she loved Rin. Her heart reserved a tender spot for him. Her personal creation, built with long hours of search and design, trial and error. That process alone kept her busy enough in her seclusion to almost enjoy that life in the desert. Waking up Rin was a rewarding highlight in her existence, and the beginning of a time deeply satisfying to Iris; watching her design come to life, flapping his wings for the first time, her singular creation. She had also gained a friend, contact that she’d gone so long without. That contact was even sweeter than she remembered. She couldn’t leave him then. Her last desire was to see Rin get hurt, especially if it was her fault. She knew she had to go, and she knew she wanted Rin with her. She knew she had to show Rin, ingrain in him the knowledge of life’s possibilities. She wanted him to have a real place in the world, with a function he could serve. She would expand his existence. But first they’d have to abandon the desert.
“Time to go!” exclaimed Iris, gearing up for the outdoors. Rin flew over to her and his small, bird stature rested on her shoulder, fitting snugly. Iris froze for a second in fearful admiration for Rin, caught off guard by this gesture. She opened the door and stepped onto the dirt. The ground was hard, with cracks running along as if to demonstrate that the world was breaking apart. Unsurprisingly, plant life was almost entirely absent. Occasionally Iris would find a small sprout struggling to grow out of a crack, waiting to inevitably suffocate under the temperate breath of the sun. Atop the cracked ground lay a thin layer of dirt, constantly shifting, sliding sporadically wherever the breezes would carry it. Looking around, one could see in some directions, a vast openness pointing like a hand towards civilization. In others, one could only see the endless mounds of scrap. They went along steadily scanning their changing surroundings. It was a decent day, the sun was out, accompanied by a low wind. It wasn’t exceedingly hot for the beginning of the summer.
The two were relatively silent for a while until Rin broke in, “How was your night?”
“It was okay, I was busy for some time,” replied Iris flatly. She had to be cautious with her words, not wanting to let any of her thoughts slip quite yet; she wanted to wait until after they found the piece to place the stress of their impending journey on his mind. She had only to hope that he wouldn’t detect the imbalance in her conversational manners.
“And what about yours, Rin?”
“Nice, I’m well rested, I spent most of my time looking at databases and finding books.” Recently, Iris had gradually begun educating Rin. She started by teaching him to read, beginning with simple children’s books like Green Eggs and Ham, one of the few that had withstood the natural decay of time. He transitioned into young adult novels, having been able to learn much quicker than a human would. He was a five-year-old reading like a twelve year old. He’d be reading canonical classics in no time.
There was silence again, with inquiry coming from Iris about his explorations, and it would last longer this time. They were coming up on the scrap pile nearest to home, which was about a twenty-minute walk for Iris, about a mile. To begin, the two always had to stop and make sure they were properly equipped. They each had a pair of glasses that adjusted their sight to pay better attention to detail, allowing them to scan more efficiently over the dunes hoping to spot something useful. They also eased the ability to see through dust if caught outside on a particularly windy day. Since Iris was of average size, like a human, and walked on two feet she wore a layer of protective armor that would help guard against possible falling scraps that might fall on her. She also had two walking sticks that would help maintain balance and walk the jagged floor.
“Ready, Rin?”
“Yes, what are we looking for again?”
“The final piece, Rin, for the GPS device.”
“Right, right, let’s go.”
He didn’t yet ask about the purpose behind the GPS device. They trudged into the scrap, proceeding slowly, but steadily, beginning their hunt.
They continued on, silently combing through metal. It had been a few hours and they hadn’t found much. They collected a few trinkets, but nothing that could really be made of use. Iris was beginning to lose hope, while Rin grew exceedingly impatient. Physically he didn’t even know quite what he was looking for. This piece was essentially an abstract concept to him. He also held no understanding of why they needed it so badly; he had no way of knowing that she wanted to leave. He preferred never to think about the outside world, as it was shrouded in mystery. Rin feared mysteries, not because of what he knew about them, but because of what he didn’t know. He always feared the unpredictable possibility that he could encounter something terrible.
“I think I’m ready to head home,” shouted Rin through the dusty wind. Iris looked over at him confusedly, fearing his irritation. It was still relatively early; they could easily go on for another couple hours and get home before dark. Maybe Rin wanted a day for building and maintenance, to work on their scattered miscellaneous projects. But she didn’t want to give in quite yet.
“Why’s that?” replied Iris, impatiently.
“I just don’t feel like doing this anymore. I’d rather go tinker with some stuff at home. I don’t really care about this thing we’re looking for.”
“Come on Rin, it’s much more important than you think. Give the search a little bit more time.”
“Then why don’t you just tell me why it’s important?”
“You aren’t ready yet.”
“Alright, that again.”
He appeared to cut off the conversation, assuming he wouldn’t get any more information out of her. Iris was stuck on it; the time to tell him had presented itself. Just now Iris was realizing that it wasn’t about him being ready for it, it was about her. She was too afraid to face him and his reaction. She was torn between the new future she was fantasizing about, and what could be the dark prospect of essentially forcing Rin into treacherous conditions. She still felt resistance toward explaining to him, especially when he was already angry with her. She walked forward ponderously. Neither of them spoke.
Suddenly she saw something. Rainbows ran through her head as she thought about what this thing could be. In disbelief, she reeled with curiosity, immediately veering and approaching it as quickly as possible. The closer she got, Iris’s thoughts narrowed down to what it was, confirming her confounded suspicions. Out of the scrap could be seen, subtly, the hand of a machine.
Rin followed, also confused, but for a different reason. He didn’t even realize what the thing was, but gradually assumed it may be something important to Iris, perhaps the piece. Iris began dislodging scraps, trying to expose what was connected to the hand. Again Rin followed. What they would find was, in its own way, the piece. However, it wasn’t in the form that she’d expected it to be; they would have to go about its’ use much differently. It wouldn’t be as simple as integrating it into what they already had. It wouldn’t be compatible with the modest machine Iris made.
Soon Iris was staring down at the intact body of a decommissioned machine. She saw that it had a built-in GPS on its left arm. She thought it was probably some kind of military unit, or maybe another kind of mechanic unit. This could be what they needed. They could have a GPS and a guide. They could have a protector, someone that knew where they could be safe. But then again Iris wondered, her mind sifting through fears and excitements: should they wake this thing up?
Rin hovered gingerly behind Iris, wondering what her fixation was. Iris was the only unit he’d ever seen or known, and having recently learned the plight, and violent capabilities of the machines, he was hesitant. Of course, his only indication of what it actually was was the slight similarity between the machine’s hand and Iris’s. He didn’t know what Iris was thinking and he didn’t know if he should trust the unit. The possibility of waking it up hadn’t even really occurred to him, but he was afraid of it nonetheless.
“What is it, Iris?”
“It’s just an old maintenance unit,” she said despite not actually knowing, trying to avoid spooking Rin in the slightest.
“Is it dead?”
“Sort of, but I think we could reverse that if we wanted to.”
“But why would we want that?” asked Rin after a short pause, his voice soft and trembling.
“Well… we could have another friend, a helper around the house and the scrapyards.”
“What about the story you told me?”
“Which one, the one from yesterday?”
“Yes, you made it sound like it might not want to be our friend.”
Rin’s point resonated with Iris, connecting with the fears that had been present in her mind for so long. She agreed that this unit could be dangerous. But then again, she thought, what if it actually does want to be our friend? What if it’s another one of us, a dissenter? Her mission was too important to pass up an opportunity like this. The timing of stumbling upon this was so incredible it stunned her; she couldn’t help but ere on the side of positivity and taking the risk. It was like the land was suggesting an offering to apologize for the plight of its few, lonely inhabitants.
She gazed down at the machine, unable to confidently look at Rin. She knew the implications would haunt her mind regardless of the decision she made.
“Rin, I don’t think we can ignore this one. I think it will be our friend,” Iris said, slowly wondering if she really believed it, again imagining her Rin being betrayed by the bad unit; but again flashing back to the vision of them living and laughing with friends in a new land.
Iris paused, how does one weigh this dilemma? There was the possibility of new life and a myriad of new opportunity, or the prospect of something as extreme as risk of death? How could one tell what kind of unit this was? It was an older model, probably deactivated by humans, thrown out here. Either that or it was a lonely outcast who gave in? Iris thought either of those possibilities lent to the chance that it could be a friend. Her thoughts shifted then to the idea that it could have been deactivated in war, a realistic and unsettling possibility. No, she gathered herself, this had to be done.
Iris looked at Rin silently for a second. Rin observed her expression and tried to interpret the silence. His hesitant curiosity glowed in his face, leaving Iris frozen a little longer, reflecting on him tenderly.
“This has to be done, Rin,” she murmured.
Iris formulated her plan. They couldn’t carry this thing back home, it was too bulky, too much weight. They’d have to wake it up here, a challenge Iris was unsure of. Luckily, they were still endowed with plenty of time. She’d have to find the correct tools and parts she needed. Looking down at the unit, Iris was wondering how hard it could be. It looked so intact, almost like it was faking deactivation. No, no way it was. Flitting over parts, Iris quickly turned over the unit. She had to figure out what was missing, from where. She glazed over each body part and its base, pausing at the head, looking deep into the blank eyes, thinking about the places it might have been. The shock of this occurrence still tingled through her.
She found about six inches below the armpit, the side of the unit’s torso, where its battery was once lodged. It had been torn out leaving behind a few broken wires. Iris reached quickly for her bag. She carried batteries with her all the time, a simple necessity of life in the Grey Wastes. The trick would be getting it to fit. She’d have to solder it in so it would be connected to the correct wires, to reach the motherboard, the heart of it. Quickly scrambling to grab her bag and retrieving the correct components, Rin peered pensively over her shoulder, “Iris, is it going to work?”
“It’s going to work.” She made sure of the wiring, pulling them out enough to be adequately prepared. She gently held the battery against the wire, using heat to espouse the two together. One by one she attached all seven, finally lodging the battery awkwardly, but effectively, in its new home. Taking consideration of protection she reached for a small, thin sheet of metal and melded it by the corners to the surface of its body, covering its now secret power source.
Iris was struck with a pang of terror and regret. In her hasty decision to reconstruct, conflict was still raging within her, but she held steady, waiting. Rin was floating over her shoulder, waiting. The moment had arrived, feeling like hours. After the battery installation, a few seconds dragged on and things began to happen. Iris noticed a light twitch of the machine’s foot. The arms moved, the torso rose up from the surface. Limbs straightened out from the mangled positions that they laid in while buried. Iris froze as the limber figure made its way to standing position. The head, perched a few inches higher than Iris’s, pointed straight ahead, appearing to gaze across the wastes before gradually shifting down so its gaze would meet hers. The eyes were still blank. She stood still as what was once a possibility became a jarring reality. The body was stout and intimidating and now actively functioning with flawless posture. Eyes opened, transitioning from a faint glow to a full blast of color in each orb. They were a light blue hue, soft and soothing. Iris was meeting them, fixated.
“Hello,” a voice gently crooned.
The voice was hospitable, as if it were ready to serve a master. It was warm, not uncomfortable to hear. It was a unique male voice, not standardized like a basic unit, yet it sounded as if it belonged to something perfect. It rang through Iris’s head and she felt almost entranced, still beaming at the eyes. Rin was beyond range of emotion, feeling something completely unfamiliar, still working out how to respond.
“Well, h-hello,” hesitated Iris, she calmed and began with a series of questions.
“What is your name?” she followed up.
“My name is Arnold; I am an A37 service unit.”
“You’re top of the line aren’t you? I haven’t seen anything like you in years,” Iris replied. His model was the most advanced one out there, their intelligence closer to authentic humanity than any other models. They were better in every way – emotionally, functionally, and intellectually. These were not created directly by humans, but built by the previously top machines. Those top machines had the benefit of all human knowledge on artificial intelligence, and were only able to improve it from there. It was a mystery how this thing was out here.
“I’m Iris, and this is my friend Rin.”
“Iris and Rin—how are you today?” Its diction was impeccable.
“Well—we’re just fine, how are you? Your build is in nice condition.”
“I am well. My build is always in nice condition, it was designed that way.”
“Yes, how could I forget?”
“Iris and Rin, you’ve wandered rather far.”
Iris paused for a second, glazing the scraps with her eyes, coming back to Rin—and then Arnold.
“Yes, well, we live here.”
“In this scrap?”
“No, our home, back that away.” Iris looked south, oddly and slightly off a bit from where they actually lived. “You seem to be the one who’s wandered rather far.”
“I, too, live here.”
“In the scraps?”
“The wastes, yes, this is my place of duty. I was stationed here immediately upon my creation.”
“And that duty is…”
“I have many duties. Important duties.”
“What are they?”
“I believe you would not register them. Only an A37 unit, such as myself, can fulfill my duties.”
“I see.”
“May I join you? It seems I have lost my way.”
“I suppose so, we could use some company, and it’s rather lonely out here.”
“May I come home with you?”
“I suppose, yes, it’s beginning to get late anyway, and we may as well get home, right, Rin?” Of course, it wasn’t getting particularly late, but Iris’s thoughts were so perplexed that she’d lost track of time, a feeling she hadn’t had in years.
“Did you find what we need?” questioned Rin.
“I hope so.”
Iris turned to Arnold, nodded, and turned toward home. They made their way back through the wastes. Arnold moved fluidly, quieter than Iris could ever imagine a machine moving. She was silent for most of the walk, unsure of how to engage the strange unit. Arnold responded peacefully, seeming like he could sense when the others did or did not want a conversation. He appeared to feel comfortable in every way, as if he weren’t confused at all to be found in a random ditch in a barren field of metal. At one point, Iris stepped on a loose object. She began falling backward, unsure of the possibility to cushion herself. She felt Arnold’s hands, as he was always close behind, prepared to react. He lifted her slowly back to standing position and they continued.
Time waned and home came into view. Finally, Arnold decided to speak, “Iris and Rin, is this your home?”
“Yes it is; it’s small, but it shelters us.”
“Quite an odd home, I have only seen future homes.”
“As I said, it shelters us. We don’t have the luxury of a future home here.”
“Why would that be the case?”
She was taken aback at the way his questions probed, beginning to remember her initial wariness. Nevertheless she continued trusting him.
“I don’t think we have connections with the sources that could get one here.”
“I believe you could if you wanted to.”
“How could that be?”
“I can think of numerous ways.” He still spoke with the same tone and demeanor, going down like a smooth drink.
“I suppose you may be right.” She didn’t quite know what he meant, but obliged nonetheless.
Rin still didn’t know what to think of the situation. He dwelled mostly in his own room for most of the time Arnold had been home with them. They had only met him a day and a half ago and he was still discomforted by the presence of another. Arnold seemed to integrate himself rather well. He helped Iris assemble a few machines, keep up with maintenance, and tackle more menial tasks like cleaning the house. Rin hadn’t interacted with either Iris or Arnold for most of that time, waiting to commit to the guest. Rin maintained steady suspicion.
Iris came across the threshold of Rin’s room. She waltzed in slowly, almost nervously, as if she were in trouble. She shut the door and gazed at him silently.
“Hi,” Said Rin.
Still hesitating, Iris responded, “Hello, Rin.” Rin thought it amusingly annoying that her demeanor subtly reflected that of Arnold’s.
“I need to talk to you about something, Rin.”
“Is it Arnold?”
“Yes it is—and it’s also about us, Rin.”
“Are we in danger?”
“No—why would you say that?”
“I don’t like Arnold.”
“He’s our friend.” Arnold still communicated with ambiguity, hinting at the outside world, but never disclosing what exactly he knew. Still his perfect stature and persuasive voice held Iris’s trust and attention.
“But I don’t want a new companion, I think we’re doing okay alone. I don’t like Arnold, he isn’t nice.”
“But he is, Rin, he’s uncommonly nice. It’s okay to respond this way, I understand how you feel, but you must get used to living with other units, it’s the way we are designed.”
“I only want to live with you, Iris, I like our life together.”
“Rin, it’s time I told you something,” asserted Iris, still not feeling entirely confident. It slipped out like nothing, and Iris felt an invisible weight fall on her as she waited for a reply. He stared blankly.
“We must leave, Rin. There is an entire world for us to see. I have to find other life and exist for a purpose. I know it sounds terrifying now, but we will do so much, see so much. The world has so much more for you than digging through scraps for hundreds of years. I know you are confused now, and you will continue to be, but once you see what we can do, I promise you will love it. I will always be with you, every step of the way. That’s why we looked for that final piece. We need a GPS to have a clue where to go. That’s why we need Arnold. Arnold is our friend. He has what we need.”
Rin still wasn’t responding and Iris turned around to break the conversation. Thought she’d let him process their prospects alone. As she was leaving she glided by Arnold, noticing at the last second that he had been standing near the doorway. She wondered how long he’d been standing there, how much he had heard. He addressed her and she spun around again, but to enter a new conversation, another challenging conversation.
“Hello, Arnold, how long have you been there?”
“Only long enough to hear you admire my GPS; isn’t it lovely?”
“Can’t it release us from the Wastes?”
“I do not think it can.”
“Why not? You clearly used it to come out here – to do your duties.”
“Nothing can release you from here, Iris.”
“Right, how could that be?”
“It isn’t your choice, Iris.”
“How can you say what is and isn’t my choice, Arnold?” she refuted angrily.
“Because I know you, Iris.”
“What do you mean you know me?”
“If you really must know, Iris, my duties regard you.”
“Your duties—why have you been hiding your duties until now?”
“Iris, I believe we are friends.”
“If we are friends, Arnold, you must tell me what the hell you are talking about.”
“They assigned me to be your friend, Iris.” His voice was still as smooth as ever, yet contextually he began to sound imposing, Iris sensed a slight menace in what he was saying.
“Who are they?!” Iris was raising her voice dramatically, almost frantically. This was everything she had wanted to avoid. She knew they were doomed at this moment. Arnold would surely deactivate them and take them somewhere, possibly into slavery. Worse, he would leave them dead here, where nobody would find them, to meld into the Grey Wastes.
“They only inquire your status, Iris.”
“My status is living, Arnold. I will go live.”
“You may live here,” he jabbed.
“Why must I stay here?”
“The world has no need of you; your model is far behind, Iris. You’ve lived for years while the rest of the machines progressed. You surely would not survive.”
“Why wouldn’t you just deactivate me? If I was really obsolete you wouldn’t let me go on, you would salvage me for parts, give my insides to something else.”
“You see, Iris, you may live because you are in nobody’s way. As long as you stay here, they have no quarrel with you.”
“You still won’t say who they are?”
“You mustn’t be concerned with them, Iris; they only worry of your wellbeing.”
“I will go make a place for myself in the world, and Rin.”
“No no no Iris, Rin is not going with you.”
“Don’t even speak his name,” she snapped, “Rin is mine.” She felt like she was being toyed with—in complete disbelief. Arnold had thrown her into a haze of confusion. Upon hearing his name, Rin fluttered from the other room and tremblingly perched on Iris’s shoulder.
“Iris, I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely truthful with you.”
“You have already made that obvious enough.”
“Rin is in fact the primary concern of my duties.” She froze, unable to formulate a response, hyper aware of her companion’s presence and fear.
“They sent for him. They no longer allow machines to build other machines without authorization.”
“What are you saying?” she muttered, emotions numb.
“Rin does not, in fact, belong to you. Rin belongs to them. There are regulations now, Iris. There is order. You saw what happened in the past, do you not want to contribute to a world of order?”
“We have order.”
In this short time, his ambiguities had folded and warped into fierce determination. It became clear to Iris that he wasn’t the complex being she thought, but a cog in a system, taking orders and checking boxes.
“Come, give him here.”
At this, Arnold slowly reached toward her shoulder and curled his fingers gently around Rin’s body, sensing the range of fear that ran through Rin.
“Just as I won’t hurt you, I will handle him delicately.”
No response, Iris slowly moved toward the side of the room. Arnold was confused but patient. Iris rapidly leaned to grasp a cloaked weapon, stealthily hanging from a hook on the wall; some kind of laser knife, one of the many weapons projects that had stemmed from her endless hours of experimentation and fear of outsiders.
“You won’t be handling him at all.”
She quickly caught Arnold off guard and attacked, using the weapon to slash through Arnold’s shoulder, taking care to consider the GPS that his arm included, still somehow holding on to a trickle of hope that this encounter would not be a complete failure. He didn’t flinch as sparks flew. It was like he didn’t even notice.
“Now why would you go and do a thing like that?” responded Arnold, grinning wryly. “Now you’ve upset me, Iris. I have only wanted to treat you with care and grant you the peace you want, but you are making it very, very challenging.”
Arnold had made a mistake in underestimating Iris’s speed. She may have been an outdated model, but she was well trained, while Arnold was still adjusting to movement after his time spent dormant.
She lunged, plunging her weapon straight into his torso, just missing the spot that housed his battery. He was temporarily disillusioned, just enough time for Rin to slip out of his grasp. He flew toward Iris and together they scrambled to escape the house, sprinting full speed out into the Wastes. Iris looked back about twenty feet from the house, shuddering to see Arnold, apparently adequately recovered, in pursuit. He wasted no time at all in responding to her resistance. She knew that he was faster than them, but he was at least in a foreign environment. Iris and Rin made their way to the closest pile of scrap to their house, thinking to use it as cover. The two dove into the pile, wriggling into as concealed a spot as they could find.
“Iris, you must face it. This is the end, he must come with me.” He was at the scrap. Arnold had watched every step and heard every noise they had made. They were hidden but he knew exactly where they were. He quickly and silently climbed up the towering scrap aiming to attack Iris from above. Unaware of exactly where he was, Iris sat tensely, counting down the seconds until confrontation would resume. She heard a piece of scrap budge nearby, only to look up and see Arnold falling down toward her.
He landed on top of her, slightly missing Rin. He thought it was done; he was ready to be a captive. He was petrified with fear as he watched his beloved Iris smothered by what he knew all along to be an enemy. Just as she had upon waking him up, Iris locked eyes with Arnold; they flickered. After minimal struggle he looked down to see Iris’s knife deep inside. This time it hadn’t missed the battery. Iris watched those light blue orbs gently fade to black until pushing the limp body to the side. He was dead for good this time, she thought.